“Would you like to meet my parents?” Gulp! Meeting his parents for the first time can be more nerve-racking than going on your first date. What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t like them? What if I say something wrong? These and many more questions will be flying around your head. But don’t worry – we have some useful tips for surviving the introduction with your in-laws.

First Impressions matter

Go girl, this guy must be serious if he wants you to meet his parents. But remember first impressions are very important. If his parents take a dislike to you on your first encounter they may never accept you and if they do it could take a long time.

Get wise

Find out as much as you can about his family by asking him questions about them such as: has there been any recent deaths that you could avoid? The last thing you want is to tell them that you want to go diving, only to learn his uncle has just been killed by a shark attack. (I know it ain’t likely but it is just hypothetical OK.)

And if you know that his parents are very conservative, you may want to cover up that tattoo or temporarily remove that nose ring – or at least have your partner warn them of your body art – before meeting them.

Until you have got to the point of calling them mum and dad try to steer clear of any family disputes or differences of opinions. Keep Out of any family disputes or history.

Long before you meet his parents, talk with your boyfriend about what he wants out of the visit, letting him share what to address and avoid. He needs to prepare you and support you.

Think of questions you would like to ask them. After all it is not just about them liking you, you also have to like them… they could be your future in-laws! Talk about current events, and target their interests or careers.

House guest etiquette

If you are staying at their home for a night or a few days show them a token of appreciation by offering them a bouquet of flowers or a potted plant.

Take a bottle of wine to dinner, but first check with your partner that they drink. They might be recovering alcoholics and you don’t want to get them back on the wagon do you?

If you are a vegetarian make sure you let them know beforehand. Make sure you EAT all or at least most of your dinner. You don’t want to offend them.

Most important – don’t over do the booze. The last thing you want to do is get drunk and criticize his mother’s cooking.

Where to sleep

Although the two of you may share a bed when you’re on home turf, while at his parents’ place, they might not go for that sort of thing so do respect his parents’ wishes. Well at least until they are a sleep then sneak into his room for a quickie. But make sure you don’t fall asleep in his bed or you may get caught and that won’t do you any good when trying to score some brownie points.

What if they hate me?

Keep in mind that his parents are just as anxious as you are and that they will be thinking exactly the same questions.

While it’s normal to want to be popular with potential in-laws, be open to the fact that you may not “click.” Do not expect to build an instant bond with them, but instead try to help them be at ease with you, opening the door for a warm encounter the next time you get together.

Top 10 things not to say when meeting his parents for the first time

1. You are as sexy as your son (to his father).
2. To his mother: have you tried that new anti-wrinkle cream?
3. Smoking causes cancer (if they smoke).
4. Shall we get a take-away instead?
5. Is that your car in the driveway that I just backed into?
6. Do you want me to cook?
7. Can I sleep in his room tonight?
8. This house could really do with a lick of paint.
9. I’m glad I ate before coming over.
10. That shelf looks crooked did you put it up (to the dad)?