Acknowledging your homosexuality and accepting yourself as a lesbian is one thing, but “coming out of the closet” and yelling out “Hey! I’m gay” is another ball game. Here’s a coming out guide to help you open up about your lesbianism with different people in your life.

Coming Out Tips For Lesbians

To Parents & Family
More and more lesbian girls are opening up about their homosexuality, yet parents will always find it hard to come to terms with. Know and accept this. Some parents may be very supportive and understanding while others may turn out to be your worst homophobic nightmare.

• Choose the right time to tell them. Don’t drop the bomb and run for cover. Spend some time with them, give them room to freak out, answer their questions etc.
• Do it in person rather than on the phone or via email/letters.
• Plan your speech. It can just be “Mom…Dad…I have something to tell you – I’m gay” but as long as you know that’s what you’re going to say, you’ll probably be more confident when you say it
• Don’t bring your lesbian girlfriend with you. Let them process the information first and having her around could make things uncomfortable for them. Introductions can be left for later.
• If you need an ally, confide in a sibling, cousin, aunt, uncle etc, and bring them with you when you tell Mum & Dad. It might help in controlling the freak out.

To Friends
If your friends are an important part of your life, you probably want to tell them you’re a lesbian and have them accept you for it. Some may be shocked and end your friendship (yes, it happens a lot) while it may not make any difference to others. Approach it the same way as you would telling your parents.

To Children
Whether you’re raising children together in a same sex marriage, or bringing up a child as a single lesbian parent; at some point, you have to come out to your children. Never ever try to hide your homosexuality from your children because the only message they will receive is homosexuality is wrong.

• Be open and explain to them in the best way possible depending on their age.
• Let them ask questions – it will help them understand better.
• Explain to them that they may experience taunting and jeering from other children, but you are there to help them through it.

To Colleagues
Many lesbian girls are open about their sexuality with family and friends but are afraid of coming out at work. Fair enough because there have been so many cases of prejudice and discrimination. Whether you come out at work or not is an entirely individual decision though you might like to consider some of these points.

• Does your workplace have a non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation?
• Is your office environment hostile and homophobic or are they likely to be understanding?
• Is there a chance of you being let-go if you come out? Do you want to take that chance?
• Are there other openly gay or lesbian employees at your workplace? How are they treated?
• Do you want to lead a double life pretending to be someone you’re not?

Useful Tips

• Expect the Worst

Not trying to scare you or anything, but be prepared for negative responses, suggestions to “cure” you or just outrageous homophobic behavior. Not everyone will be accepting of your preferences so be prepared for extreme reactions.

• Be Patient

Your family and friends may not be homophobic but it will still take them some time to process what you’ve just told them. Give them some time and be patient.

• Educate

Once you’ve come out, be open to answering questions and educating others about lesbians. For example a common myth people believe in is that all lesbians in love want a butch femme partnership but as a lesbian you know better, and you need to educate them and get rid of the myths.

• Not The End

While coming out may be a big weight lifted off your shoulders, understand that it’s not the end of all your problems. Life as a lesbian may become easier or harder depending on how your family and friends react to you being a lesbian.