Violence in movies causes children (and men) to become violent people. Therefore, do far-fetched, sometimes completely irrational romantic movie plots create unrealistic love expectations too? Maybe these aren’t the lessons the moviemakers wanted me (or you) to learn but I’ve always been a little slow at getting the point!

Note:  This articles is written in pure humor and should not be taken seriously.

Lessons on Love: Your Best Friend IS ‘The One’

One of the most important love lessons the movies teach us. You look everywhere for love and then find it in your best friend. Hopefully they love you back too.

• Love Lesson No. 1: You’re in love with your best friend; you just don’t know it yet (or realize it only when he/she decides to get married).

Movie: When Harry Met Sally

Honorable Mention: My Best Friend’s Wedding; Made of Honour

Love Lesson: Love Happens When You Least Expect It

An important lesson of love to remember is this one. You’re 30-something, putting on weight, pining over all the wrong men, whinging about not finding Ms. or Mr. Right and have lost hope, until now…

• Lesson No. 2: Its okay to obsess about love (and the not finding of it!), because one day you will have a sudden breakthrough and find the “perfect someone” anyway.

Movie: Bridget Jones’ Diary

Honorable Mention: My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Muriel’s Wedding

Lessons Of Love: Chance Encounters

Chance encounters and falling in love are the stuff of dreams and the movies work hard to teach us this love lesson and well. You’re happily partnered but then you meet another person for a few seconds and you know they’re “the one”.

• Love Lesson No. 3: Even if you have a partner, keep looking because you might find your “true love” in someone you bump into at the supermarket.

Movie: Sleepless in Seattle

Honorable Mention: Serendipity; Four Weddings and a Funeral

You’re a nobody who has a chance encounter with a movie star. Sparks fly, misunderstandings happen but you and the movie star end up together for your happily-ever-after.

• Lesson No. 4: A famous person and an ordinary person routinely end up together. What’s not to get? Haven’t I always said Hugh Jackman and I are meant to be?

Movie: Notting Hill

Honorable Mention: The Prince and Me; America’s Sweethearts

Love Lesson: If You Can Dance, You Can Find Love!

You dance. He/She dances or teaches you to dance. You fall in love and dance conquers all odds.

• Lesson No. 5: Dancing helps you find love so if you can’t dance you’re doomed!

Movie: Dirty Dancing

Honorable Mention: Strictly Ballroom; Step Up 2

Lessons Of Love: Unrealistic Situations

If there is one thing the movies help us do it is to hope and learn the lesson of love that while the world might be coming to an end, love is still possible.

You might die because there’s a war going on outside but that can’t stop you from falling in love.

• Lesson No. 6: War and crisis situations are the perfect times to look for love.

Movie: Australia

Honorable Mention: Pearl Harbour; Titanic

You meet someone you really like, only to learn that they suffer from some rare disorder, and won’t even remember you in the morning. But you fall in love and spend the rest of you life reminding them of your life together through videos (or notebooks).

• Lesson No. 7: Memory loss is hardly an obstacle for true lovers. Even if science tells you they’ll never remember you, there’s no harm trying.

Movie: 50 First Dates

Honorable Mention: The Notebook; Just Like Heaven

You’re in love but you wonder if life could’ve played out differently, or where you would be without a certain someone in your life.

• Lesson No. 8: If you’re stuck in a dead-end relationship, simply create an alternate reality, where you’d be in a different place with different people. Simple as that!

Movie: Sliding Doors

Honorable Mention: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Kate and Leopold

Lessons On Love: Death Can’t Stop Love

You’ve found the perfect person but they die on you, and you really wish you could have done things differently.

• Lesson No. 9: A happily-ever-after could very well result in the death of one of the people involved.

Movie: If Only

Honorable Mention: City of Angels; Sweet November

So now that your love dies on you, you’re left alone to pick up the pieces of your life…or are you?

• Lesson No. 10: Its okay for your lover to haunt you or give you life lessons from the dead.

Movie: Ghost

Honorable Mention: P.S. I Love You; Truly, Madly Deeply

Bonus Love Lesson

It doesn’t matter who hurt who, or who actually stuffed up. A bloke always has to apologise.

• Bonus Lesson: If you’re a man, apologise. Problem solved.

Movie: Almost Every Romantic Movie and Chick Flick

Honorable Mention: Almost Every Romantic Movie and Chick Flick

Maybe the next time your partner (read: girlfriend) behaves like an emotional psychopath and you’re not sure what they are talking about, you will now have a handy guide book to all the lesson of love!